This is why we're not selling much chickpea salad these days

An email arrives, bringing worrying news:

Hello, my name is Chuck Stewart and I am an internet marketing specialist. I was looking at websites under the keyword vegan food and came across your website http://xrrf.blogspot.com. I see that you're not ranked on the first page of Google for a vegan food search.

I'm not sure if you're aware of why you're ranked this low but more importantly how easily correctable this is.

There's no reason you can't have a top three ranking for the keyword vegan food based on your site structure and content. You have a very nice site.

You need significantly more one way anchor text backlinks. If you're interested I can help you with this...

I'd assumed my poor positioning on searches for vegan food might have had something to do with having posts about Meat Loaf. But maybe Chuck - who runs a company called Linksqueue - really knows something I don't. Clearly he understands the links between a meat-and-dairy free diet and snarking about Noel Gallagher that I'm missing...