Having tried so long to be The Beatles, Noel Gallagher has realised that Oasis have morphed into the Stones instead:
"Everybody knows who we are. You have to see us in league with The Rolling Stones now," he declared. "Everybody's heard of the Stones, everybody knows what they sound like, everybody knows what they do. You either go because you like it or you don't. It's easy."
Band who haven't written a decent song in decades, still desperately trying to look like they're in their 20s, churning out new albums despite being an oldies group, living a champagne and butlers lifestyle while pretending to be street-fighting men... you can see what Noel is getting at... but everyone knowing them? Outside of the UK and a clutch of large US cities... does... anyone... much... I mean, if Noel is Jagger, I'm a fruit. Or possibly a vegetable. Maybe I'm an avocado. But... what is this... happening... to me... mashing... garlic...