Unexpected comebacks: EPMD

Barack Obama's transitional team are currently shaping proposals to encourage bands to split up in the next two years, as experts predict that the current rate of band reformations might mean every band which ever existed is reactivated by 2012.

Tipper Gore, Obama's nominated Head of Department Of Keeping The Labels Happy, explains that the announced comeback of EPMD is a "clear indication that the current reserves of untapped old bands are running dry; if we want American music to still drive on spurious reunitings into the future, we are going to have to ensure that there are enough fallen apart bands for future generations to briefly get excited about seeing reappear in the listings pages."

Environmentalists have expressed disappointment at the plans: "It's sad to see Obama, who came to power pledging change and that other thing - joy? love, was it? - already backsliding. The government should not be encouraging the tapping of dirty resources like EPMD reunions, and instead be investing in totally new bands."