If it's true, you have to admit that Gordon's news of a 20th anniversary Stone Roses reunion is a pretty good scoop.
If only he'd got someone else to write it up for him:
This comeback bug is really catching. There must be something in the water. Or should that be Jack Daniel’s?
Given that the 'comeback bug' has been afflicting bands now solidly since Victoria Newton was in nominal charge at the Sun's showbusyness pages, that Smart has only just noticed says something about his powers of observation.
Seeing THE SPECIALS recently announce a comeback tour has convinced Mani the baggy Lords could put their differences behind them and do a tour.
Oh god - did he just call The Stone Roses "the baggy Lords"? What is it with Smart and giving everyone cod titles?
Still, Stone Roses reunion, huh? And it's in the bag, right?
THE STONE ROSES bassist MANI has pledged to fans that the legendary band will reform next year – once he has persuaded frontman IAN BROWN.
It turns out that all Gordon has to go on is something that Mani has said, with an admission that Ian Brown isn't actually interested right now. So, the band doesn't feature anyone who can sing. Or even Ian Brown.
Still, it's a great scoop, Gordon. How did you get it?
Oh, strangely, although this is flashed over as an "exclusive", it seems to be based on something from "internet TV station channelbee".
So apparently an "exclusive" now means "something I saw on the internet", although not "something I read in a magazine" as Smart isn't claiming the Madonna to appear on Britney's tour story as being his and his alone. This one seems to be little more than a "you helped prop up my ailing tour, now I'll come and ruin yours" bit of kite-flying.
And as Coldplay tumble through to the London leg of their tour, Gordon attempts a review:
COLDPLAY rocked London last night with singer CHRIS MARTIN picking up the guitar to thrill their fans.
The gig at the O2 was the latest stop on the band’s gruelling Viva La Vida world tour and their first in the capital.
Some rock bands have problems making their music fill vast venues – Coldplay aren’t one of them.
Recording their album in a church must have helped.
Erm, yes - assuming they were recording in, say, the National Catherdral in Washington.
A cynic might wonder if Gordon's review had been filed while he was waiting for the taxi to take him off to the Millennium Dome, rather than when he got home.