Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Lady Gaga release album on a trademark

A press release scuttles into the inbox, bringing exciting news:

Lady Gaga Brings Her Much Anticipated Debut album to...

Something tells you this isn't going to end with "an unexpected peak."
...Mobile Phones Via New slotMusic™ Card

Yes, given that most mobile phones are mp3 players now, you could actually get the album onto your phone without a whole new format, but let's not spoil the moment - at last: it's a format so small you can lose it even more easily than a twenty pence piece. And with the need for only one extra piece of equipment, you can even hear the album in your car - like it was a CD or something:
Fans of Lady Gaga, who scored a major international hit with her single "Just Dance" and is poised to have a huge hit in the States, can now enjoy her debut album in high fidelity, DRM-free MP3 music on the go - in their mobile phones or other slotMusic compatible players such as MP3 players with a microSD slot, any PC with a USB adapter and even cars with SD or USB slots.

Yes, what could be simpler or easier while you're driving than to swap out a tiny SD card from your stereo SD slot. Let's celebrate that, finally, someone has come up with a format which will free people from being tied to a gramophone when they want to listen to music "on the go" - this sudden freedom to have music wherever you go is being undersold by calling it Slot - they should call it a Walkman or something.

Hey, but it's not just music:
The 1 GB slotMusic card will come with exclusive content only available on slot Music, allowing Lady Gaga fans to go beyond the music for a deeper richer experience.

That's great - you know, some crappy old formats don't provide a deeper, richer experience; they just pad out their space with a few cheap remixes and lob on a video or two. It's exciting to hear this exciting new format is embracing the exciting possibilities of the excitingness of its format. How will it take us to a deeper, richer experience?
In addition to the full album, Lady Gaga's slotMusic card will contain "extras" including remixes of the songs "Just Dance" (Live From the Cherrytree House) and "Love Game" (by Robots To Mars) plus the "Pokerface" video with accompanying behind the scenes look at the making of the video.

Wow... it'll be great to go beyond the music by, erm, hearing some slightly different versions of the music. I can't wait.

It's the future! It's... oh, bugger, I've dropped it...


3 comments:

Spence said...

This sounds truly amazing. I've been waiting ages for a new format to come along so I can bin all my CDs and buy my entire music collection again. God bless ye, Slot!

Oh, hang on...

duckie said...

As if to prove your point Simon, only yesterday I found one of these things (yes, someone's actually bought one) lying on the pavement. Maybe it's some weird kind of marketing campaign though, "slot music, it doesn't fall through the cracks in the pavement".

Anyway, I didn't bother to pick it up.

James said...

Maybe this is the whole point. Maybe they're trying to recapture the whole spirit of rebellion.
"OK people, what was it that defined rock'n'roll?"
"Old people hated it?"
"Yes! And what else do old people hate?"
"Erm... New technology... Small fiddly coins..."
"Exactly! So how about we create a format that's both needlessly technical AND irritatingly small?"
"*gasp* You're a visionary!"

Expect the new Kylie album to be released on CD, MP3 and a small replica of John Barrowman's penis.

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