DMX hates on dogs, finds god

Let's be absolutely clear about this: DMX's plans to become a pastor once he's through with jail has nothing whatsoever to do with pretending to be pious to earn parole:

His plan after his release is to move forward with his transition to becoming a pastor. X has long talked about becoming a prominent member of a church. The rapper believes he's been put in his situation to help someone.

"I came here to meet somebody," he said. "I don't know who it is, but I came to tell them that Jesus loves them. To tell them about the glory of God."

Well, not quite, DMX. You came to the prison because you treated animals like chattels and pinched stuff. Unless God's really upped the moving in mysterious ways, of course.