More - yes, unbelievably more - from Amy Winehouse's holiday, which seems to have gone on longer than ITV's Duty Free, but without being quite as funny:
BEFORE the AMY WINEHOUSE circus rolled into St Lucia, the closest she came to a trapeze was necking pills with a similar-sounding name.
A similar-sounding name? To her? Or the place? Or does he mean similar-sounding to trapeze? But what would that be? Does he mean e's? Or tranquilizers? Or is it temazapam? Perhaps he does mean similar sounding to St Lucia?
Now she seems to be taking to the circus act like, well, a Wino to ale, after an instructor showed her the ropes on a practice trapeze during a lesson at her hotel.
A Wino to ale - stop it, you're killing us. No, really, please. Stop it.
Amy Winehouse, huh? Doing circus bobbins? Whoever would have thought? Besides, obviously, anyone who read her talking about playing at circuses in the News Of The World at the weekend.
If you're keeping track, by the way, today Gordon has set the ever vacillating "Amy Winehouse behaviour barometer to 'bad':
Amy also ran into trouble by shouting and swearing while watching the Man Utd v Chelsea game on TV in the hotel bar.