Gordon in the morning: Piles of pants

Oh, for god's sake, Gordon:

SOMEONE should have a whip-round to buy LADY GAGA some trousers.

She has run around London in little more than her undercrackers for the past week.

By "running around London" you mean "has appeared on stage in a leotard-type costume once", do you? Look, if you want to print pictures of a woman where you can see her legs, why not just do it instead of trying to think of some reason that it might be noteworthy? "Woman who does energetic dance routine wears less clothes than cabinet minister" isn't much of a story, is it? Even when you try to somehow suggest there's a trend:

The outrageous New Yorker was a huge hit with the crowd at club night GAY in a shiny metal bustier and leather gloves on Saturday. That conical bra reminds me of early MADONNA.

Do you also have some fairly undressed photos of Madonna?

Queen Of Pop Madge, meanwhile, has been flashing her undies in new promo pics for album Hard Candy.

Actually, the photos of which Gordon talk are a little more interesting than that - they're not new photos at all, but apparently photos that Madonna rejected during the gathering of promotional materials which have suddenly appeared online. Humorously, Gordon fawns over the shots:

It's a wrap ... Madge looks much younger than 50

... while most people think the photos were abandoned in the first place because she looks about 90 in them. Despite her pants being on display.

Still, having spectacularly missed one story and failed to create another, could Gordon salvage the day with a spot of lazy gay stereotyping?

And I reckon she [Lady GaGa] borrowed that leather cap and shades from her new pals at GAY.

Well done, Gordo.