Now, generally, I'm not a big fan of Abi Titmuss. But does she really deserve the headline that Gordon's put on the story about Mickey Rourke's supposed attempts to spend some time with her:
Slapper smacks down grappler
Slapper? Really, Gordon? You think it's ever appropriate for a family newspaper to call someone a slapper?
We're also treated to Gordon's thinking-words on the occasion of the Grammy-BAFTA night:
THE country might be awash with economic gloom but we can take huge pride in the success of our film and music industry.
COLDPLAY, ADELE, ROBERT PLANT, DUFFY and ESTELLE proudly flew the flag for the UK, pocketing a brilliant 15 Grammys on Sunday night.
Back home our actors, directors and talented army of film makers gave Britain one of our proudest Bafta nights ever.
Best bit for me was Orange Rising winner Noel Clarke, 33, who issued a rallying call to teenagers insisting if he could make a success of himself, then anyone could follow in his footsteps.
Our music and film industries are without any question packed with Great Britons.
Apparently, you can create this editorial for yourself simply by humming the Dambusters theme into one of those headsets that change voice into text.
So, how great is the British film industry at creating stars, Gordon? Your three stories from the BAFTA aftershows are that one with Abi Titmuss and Mickey Rourke; one about Pitt and Jolie rushing off and one about Sharon Stone not being able to hail a taxi. Funny, isn't it? This great night for British stars, and yet - apart from Abi, of course - Gordon's only interested in the Americans.