Noel Gallagher expects to be swept to power sometime soon:
"There will be a groundswell of public opinion sooner or later which will carry me into office.
“And let me tell you, I'll only be there five years and it'll all end in tears - but it will be a proper, proper laugh while it's happening".
Strangely, this matches David Cameron's secret masterplan. Gallagher, of course, is not without his popular support. But like Nigel Farrage, that support might be deep, but it's not very wide and the volume of its vocalisation cannot disguise the lack of coherent thought at its heart.
Still, Noel's going to sort out transport policy:
“I’d shut down the tube for a year, like I’d just say to everybody right, its gone for a year, but when we reopen it next year its going to be the best tube system in the entire world, right."
Yes. Of course. That would work. Noel doesn't explain how or where he'd have the current annual billion tube journeys be made during the year the service is out of action, nor if he's considered the disruption that partial closures cause and tried to imagine the effect of a full... I'm sorry, why am I about to start costing the proposals?... why... need to be more hands on... proper research...
[Thanks to Michael M]