Gordon in the morning: I love Kasabian

Gordon, we know, likes Kasabian. He really, really likes them. Look, here he is, introducing them on stage at the Teenage Cancer Trust gig last week.

He really, really loves them:

I’ve also had a sneaky listen to the band’s new album, The West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum, out on June 8, and it should put them in the major league. Tracks such as Vlad The Impaler, Thick As Thieves, Fire and Underdog will be the songs of the summer in 2009.

It's nice to see Gordon writing about music rather than breasts, so let's not let him see us snickering at the suggestion that, apparently, everything on the album is going to become a summer anthem, or that the perennial Championship makeweights are in with a shot at the "major league".

Because Gordon really, really loves Kasabian:

The video for Fire will be a belter too. The boys will be in Joburg, South Africa, this week firing a ferocious arsenal of weapons for it.

Got to love the casual use of "Joburg", which is only slightly undermined by the explanation that it's the one in South Africa. Firing weapons, you say?

Speaking backstage at the sell-out fundraiser, Tom told me: "It’s going to be mental, proper Dirty Harry stuff."

Good to see that The Sun has decided to stop worrying about gun crime, and young people being given the impression that guns are cool.

Naturally, Gordon's not so blinded by love to realise that giving the lead story both online and in the paper to Kasabian will raise eyebrows unless he can find a great story upon which to hang it. So, from where comes the promise of the headline:

Serge of interest

And so it would seem:

HIP-HOP titans JAY-Z and KANYE WEST have offered their services to KASABIAN.

Really?

Well, not quite - there's some vague interest in picking up the Kasabian from "the music publishing wing of Jay-Z’s record label" and an even vaguer "Kanye has made enquiries about working on new material with the band’s songwriter SERGE PIZZORNO." Gordon's story doesn't even mention the name of Jay-Z's publishing company, or that it's a partnership deal with Stargate, or that it's a subsidiary of LiveNation. 'Large cash rich company investigates taking on as many publishing deals as possible' isn't quite as exciting, is it?

It's so hard with boys, isn't it? With a woman, you can just grab a photo, lob on a headline like this:

Kel's sea cups

and do a gentle waffle, and that's your article:

My pictures show Kelly [Brook] in the Caribbean doing what she does best – baring all in a bikini and running along the beach for a magazine shoot.

How do you bare all when you're wearing a bikini?