Gordon in the morning: Points of view

Pete Doherty has, Gordon discovers, been invited to write a BBC drama pilot. This doesn't please Gordon:

WHEN I give my cash to the BBC every month for a TV licence I expect it to go to responsible people making top telly shows.

But I was disappointed when I heard that Mr PETER DOHERTY, a fine upstanding member of his local community, was meeting BBC bosses on Tuesday for a job interview.

Sadly the grubby rocker is not in line for a job cleaning the wayward splashes off JONATHAN ROSS’s private urinal at London’s Television Centre.

That would be London's Television Centre in the London's busy Wood Lane, of course.

Gordon has a source, of course:

“He’s seen it all as a hellraising rock star, so they want his experiences written in.”

He’s certainly no stranger to tapping into rich veins, but for very different reasons.

Actually, that did make me giggle.

“Pete was meeting creative chiefs. They’ve commissioned him to write a Skins-style show on the dark side of the music industry."

So, Rock Follies On Drugs, then? Or Jimmy Corkhill Goes To The Roundhouse?

Given Doherty's published works to date, would he really be first choice to write something like this? If you really felt that something like this would be worth doing in the first place? Perhaps they should start him off by adding a bit of mystical, mythical Albiony doodling on the edge of the next scripts for Merlin.

Mistaking the Spandau Ballet reunion for something people might be in the least bit interested in, Gordon follows them to the Groucho Club. And, yes, whoever makes up the HTML pages for the Sun really has titled the page:

Spandau Ballet head an A-list guestlist at London's trendy Groucho Club

London's trendy Groucho Club? You'll have to forgive me, I'm from the provinces - is that anywhere near London's Television Centre?

It seems they really will let anyone in to the Groucho these days, as this awkward photo shows:

Spandau tour boss STEVE DAGGER told of the band’s ridiculous riders, which once featured a cheese board...

Not a cheese board. Oh, what larks. That must have really thrown the promoters for a loop - how on earth would they find something crazy like cheese? Unless there was a small grocer's shop nearby, of course.

Gordon frames his meeting with the Spandau boys by constant references to Yuppies, apparently because they came from the 1980s and he's now seen them drinking champagne.