Gordon in the morning: This is our short-term future

Oh, god. We're in for weeks and weeks of Michael Jackson's every single doing being fawned over and reported as the papers battle for access. Today, it's Michael Jackson goes to the theatre.

Now, even two months ago, the thought of Jacko choosing to visit Oliver - out of all his West End options - would have called for some high-concept snickering: the one with the large cast of urchin-children singing I'd Do Anything, eh? The one with Boy For Sale, eh?

But now: who would want to upset the man - or, rather, his people - when they need to be able to run exclusives from the back of the Dome?

So the coverage feeds the myth, not the gossips:

He was driven just under a mile to the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane — home to the Lionel Bart show, which stars funnyman ROWAN ATKINSON as Fagin and famously features the song Where Is Love?

You might wonder why Gordon's team are focusing on Where Is Love, which is one of the lesser songs in the book. Could it be...

Jacko, in a shiny jacket, red and gold waistcoat and dark glasses — but MINUS his trademark lone glove — waved and shook well-wishers’ hands as he left his five-star London hotel.

... could it be we're reverse-engineering the headline?

Where Is Glove?

Is anyone under the age of eight still expecting Jackson to be wearing one glove all the time? Isn't that a bit like expecting Mark Wing-Davey to always have the second head attached?

Still, I'll bet a funny thing happened on the way to the theatre, right? There must be an amusing anecdote or two along the way?

The 2,000-plus sell-out crowd burst into laughter when a tannoy announcement requested that no pictures be taken.

Audience member Michelle Forrester, 32, said: “We all thought the announcement was about Jacko.”

Ha ha ha... actually, that is pretty funny; they've used Tannoy as if it was a generic rather than a brandname. Boy, the chuckles we're in for in the coming weeks.