Will someone tell me why I keep adapting these damn cult movies into stage musicals

Here's more warm memories about to be squished up in the liquidiser of quick cash shakedowns: Heathers - The Musical:

The readings saw "Veronica Mars" star Kristen Bell playing the lead

Can it get any worse?

The film offered many over-top-moments as well as choice lines, something Fickman is eager to bring out musically.

" 'I love my dead gay son," [Developer Andy] Fickman quoted. "If you can get that into a song, then that is just perfect."

No it isn't, because if you put it into a song, it turns something that was simultaneously hypocritical and touching into just a campy laugh. In fact, putting songs into Heathers is a bit like doing The Sound Of Music without songs - a fundamental misunderstanding of what the story is about.