Someone on your mind this morning, Gordon?
I guess we should at least pat him on the head for resisting the temptation to call the column Colezarre or something this morning, as the remaining few readers of FHM vote Cheryl sexiest woman of the year and that Cheryl is starting solo work:
CHERYL COLE’s bid for solo stardom is getting a helping hand from the songwriters behind legendary soul diva WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It’s a canny move from the GIRLS ALOUD star as the Grammy-winning singer is one of the most successful songbirds ever.
Whitney has shifted 140million records throughout her career.
Well, yes, she has... so which of the many songwriters Houston has worked with is Cole teaming up with?
Cheryl has been recording with R’n’B maestros SOULPOWER, who have also penned tracks for the likes of PINK, DESTINY’S CHILD and, ahem, VICTORIA BECKHAM.
Ah. Soulpower. Remind me, old press release, what did they write for Houston?
Renowned production team Soulshock & Karlin who most recently brought us the smash "Heartbreak Hotel" from Whitney Houston (featuring Faith Evans and Kelly Price)...
Ah. The one which struggled to even get a UK release slot, before stuttering to number 25. The one which stank the place up so badly they didn't even bother including it on the most recent Houston greatest hits.
Although Gordon seems to have a different view of the track:
They penned Whitney’s 1999 global hit Heartbreak Hotel, which saw her team up with other R’n’B divas FAITH EVANS and KELLY PRICE.
That's one of those global hits that managed to get to number two in the US, and, erm, seven in France, and... 61 in Germany.
It was, however, a fairly big hit in America.
Unlike Victoria Beckham's stuff. But, still, why should the tanking of a misjudged attempt to turn a fairly popular British manufactured pop band member into an American R&B diva worry Cheryl, eh?
You'll recall the fawning copy Gordon published when Spandau Ballet announced their reunion? There's acres more this morning as Gordon goes to watch a rehearsal:
I had the honour of being given my own sofa in a north London studio to enjoy SPANDAU BALLET’s rehearsal for their big TV comeback on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross tomorrow – and it was something special.
Not just watching them, but watching them from his own sofa. You know when you're somebody in showbiz when you get a sofa all to yourself. (Actually, my strange Uncle Doris used to get a sofa to himself at family gatherings, come to think of it.)
Still, I'm sure that Gordon's affection for the group, and excitement at being allowed a piece of soft furnishing all to himself won't go to his head and make him say something that would make him look silly, will it?
They were a stadium outfit in the Eighties and by the sound of things they are ready for Wembley again.
Yes, I'm sure Spandau are ready for the big trip to Wembley. In fact, I can think of no reason why they shouldn't even expect to be up to taking the tube all the way to Harrow & Wealdstone, should they really want to.