I'm not sure what Ethan Hawke was doing writing a feature on Kris Kristofferson for Rolling Stone in the first place, but he did; and in the course of it, made reference to a spat between Kris and an unnamed country star backstage in 2003. The unnamed figure comes off as a bit of a tiresome fool.
Still, it was in Rolling Stone so nobody will notice, right? And the unnamed country singer can rest easy. And even if a person did stumble across the piece, Hawke's gone out his way to not name him, so it's not like anyone will be any the wiser.
Unless he starts to honk his large-galloned hat off, of course.
Hang about... what's that noise? Is that Toby Keith powering up?
"I don't know Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke wanted to do some kind of superficial Rolling Stone article. And he did everything he could to make his story the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone," Keith said. "And it was a fictitious (expletive) lie. O.K?
"He didn't even call me by my name. ... He called Norah Jones, Ray Charles, everybody else by name. Willie (Nelson), Kris (Kristofferson). Why didn't he call my name? Why didn't he say Toby Keith walked through and said this (expletive)? Right? You know why. You know why. You know as good as anybody why. He didn't want to (expletive) deal with the aftermath."
Only Toby Keith would think a story about him behaving like a buffoon backstage at a gig would constitute "the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone". It's hard to imagine that an anecdote with Toby Keith in would even manage to compete for the title of "the most interesting anecdote about a man called Keith", to be frank.
Still, it's lovely to see the closing-time thought-buffet that is Keith screaming loudly to ensure that everyone knows the unnamed character in the tale is him, before then shouting even louder about how it isn't true. The best thing to do under these circumstances is draw as much attention as possible to things.