There is simply no health scare that cannot be raised a couple of pitches in hysteria by the addition of Michael Jackson to the mix. Jackson was, we're told, due to inspect mansions this weekend, to decide where he'll stay while occupying Greenwich.
Not now, though:
But the 50-year-old father of three has delayed his visit until fears surrounding the swine flu - H1N1 virus - subside, according to the Daily Express.
Oh. The Daily Express. We hardly need worry about this further, then, except to point out that it's likely that the UK peak in swine flu cases will be during next winter's flu season, so if Jackson's really staying away until the "fears" have passed, it's going to put a wrinkle in this summer's concert schedule. And, given that America is currently experiencing a higher impact from swine flu than the UK, isn't, if anything, Jackson to be more likely to infect us, than we, him?
I think Tim Harper's Twitter has the best dispatch of this story, though:
RT @TelegraphNews:Swine flu: Michael Jackson 'worried about flying to Britain' - thought he wore a mask anyway?