Oasis feature in some sort of election story

How can we hope to inject some sparkle and glamour into the European elections? How about by working in a popular beat combo into the story? Or, at a stretch, Oasis?

Beware! Beware! Oasis might influence the outcome of the election in the North West:

A music concert in north Manchester, featuring the band Oasis, could delay people voting in next month's European ballot, election officials have warned.

Uh-oh. Is it not bad enough that Noel Gallagher ruins everything he touches, without him spoiling the European Parliament too?

How are Oasis going to frustrate the popular public desire to turn out in their low numbers to make a disappointing choice from a frustratingly narrow list of candidates?

The Manchester band plays the first of three huge open-air concerts in Heaton Park on 4 June, which is polling day.

Two main roads bordering the park, Bury Old Road and Sheepfoot Lane, will be closed at 2130 BST - half an hour before polling stations close.

Oh. So, with the polls open all day, anyone who goes to vote at the very last minute will have to make a small detour if they happen to take the route down past the park.

"Elections officers in Bury say that one way to avoid any potential problems would be to use a postal vote," a Bury council spokesperson said.

"Alternatively, some people might choose to go the polls a bit earlier."

Or perhaps go down the next road across.

In other election news, if angry, barking dogs were in all the streets in Devon on June 4th, it might cause some people to have to edge very, very slowly down the side of the walls to get to the polling booth. "Or perhaps they could distract them with sausages or something" suggested polling officials.