You'll recall, back on Saturday - having read everywhere that Jackson albums were selling like mawkish souvenirs - Gordon attempted to reverse-engineer a Bizarre campaign:
I’M urging all Jacko fans to get on t’internet, or go to a record shop and buy his Off The Wall album.
It would be a fitting tribute for the King of Pop to top the charts tomorrow and I am calling for Bizarre readers’ help.
Did people heed your call, Gordon?
[T]he British public who gave the most fitting tribute to the late great by firing his records back into the charts.
The moonwalking superstar has a posthumous chart-topper with album Number Ones.
Oh. So people bought the hits rather than the one you suggested. But was that their second choice?
And as his greatest hits sit at the top of the album pile, his 1982 masterpiece Thriller also hurtled into the Top Ten at No7.
Collections King Of Pop ...
... and The Essential...
Hey, Sun readers... all Gordon asked you to do was buy a record...
as well as 1972 album Off The Wall also made the Top 20.
Oh. Let's hope Gordon never uses the sway he has over the population to persuade them to do evil, shall we?
Still, what of Gordon's other demand on Saturday morning?
[I]t’s our job to ensure he has as many songs as possible in the top ten singles and album charts.
Ah, yes. Smart had also tasked readers with putting "as many songs as possible" in the top ten singles charts - that would be ten, presumably? And how many songs did he manage to get into the top ten?
Man In The Mirror makes the biggest dent in the singles chart, just outside the Top Ten at No11.
You know, it's almost as if Gordon has lots of readers, but none of them take his orders seriously.