Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently still in London. Or, as Gordon would have it:
THE Titanic pulling efforts of LEONARDO DiCAPRIO are giving my Bizarre Shagger Of The Year competition an unexpected Hollywood twist.
Leo The Lady Slayer has been going through a seriously impressive purple patch with the opposite sex during his time in London.
What is Leo The Lady Slayer meant to mean? Is Leo meant to sound like Buffy? Is The Lady Slayer a pun on DiCaprio? What does it mean?
Apparently Leo's purple patch - let's not - is because he went for a drink with Ashley Roberts out of Pussycat Dolls. Or:
Leo has worked his magic with ASHLEY ROBERTS from the naughtiest girl group in pop.
After a few pleasantries Leo invited her to join him at West End club Whisky Mist - and just hours later he had the Pussycat purring along with his wisecracks.
If you take a few hours before someone will laugh at your jokes, you're having an uphill struggle - and not like that - surely? Come to that, though, how do you "purr along with a wisecrack" in the first place?