Gordon seems to have noticed that next year's Glastonbury is the 40th anniversary, and - working with a "source" - has concluded that next year's festival will feature some big names:
Organisers EMILY and MICHAEL EAVIS want to celebrate the Worthy Farm event's 40th anniversary with a bill exclusively made up of the legendary acts that have played there over the last four decades.
That has the potential to be the greatest festival of all time.
THE KILLERS, RADIOHEAD, ARCTIC MONKEYS, NEW ORDER, VAN MORRISON, BOB DYLAN and many, many more have all trudged down to Somerset at the end of June over the past 40 years.
If you were going to start a list of the big names who have played Glastonbury, would you really kick off with The Killers? Would you even mention them, in fact?
Elsewhere, Madonna is apparently going to dress Mercy up like, erm, Madonna:
FIRST it was LOURDES, now MADONNA is dressing newly-adopted daughter MERCY JAMES to look like mum.
At least we're spared Gordon's "art department" mocking up a picture of Mercy in a conical bra.
Smart applauds this idea, rather than finding it a little creepy:
I can’t criticise her. If I ever have wee boys, they will wear Scotland and Hibs strips every day, like their pops.
Although to judge by the gardening cardigan he wears in the Bizarre masthead, Gordon actually dresses like his father.