Gordon in the morning: A fair swap for a Ginster's pasty

Wow. Whatever will we do when we have to scrape together the cash to pay for Gordon Smart and his good works?

After all, I'm sure most of the world would rather starve than miss out on the story that Fearne Cotton is no longer dating Jesse Jenkins.

Just imagine, Rupert - if you could get a pound from everyone who cares about that, you'd possibly have had enough to pay someone to have at least airbrushed out the bit about Shakira that must have been on the cover of wherever this picture came from:

You really can see why Rupert thinks Bizarre is just like the Wall Street Journal, can't you?

Murdoch can't count on the Jackson family bailing him out, either: Jackson's kids are being banned from the internet. This is somehow going to protect them from finding out the grisly details of their father's death. I understand the RIAA is now looking to introduce legislation to save us all from the horror of finding out these details by putting a massive block on all the internet. "It's better we don't know."