Gordon in the morning: Poking

One day, Murdochs Rupert and James believe people will be reaching in their pocket to pay for Gordon Smart's work. It'll be interesting to see how much cash there is to be made from copying messages between Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy Winehouse off Facebook.

Incidentally, we're told that "Blake [is] at his remote Yorkshire rehab centre." Doesn't he go to one in Sheffield? It's hardly the Arizona desert, is it?

Winehouse is pretending to be a cat in the messages - why she's chosen the persona of an animal which is known for throwing up all over the carpet and scratching those who care for it is beyond me.

Meanwhile, Gordon catches up with the Nic Cester being sick story, with this teaser:

Aussie rockers’ ambulance rider

JET asked for an 999 crew on standby at club night as lead singer Nic Cester had a bug

A 999 crew "on standby"? Do you want to think about that, Gordon? I suppose, technically, paramedic emergency response teams are perpetually on stanby for all of - #welovethenhs - but how would you persuade a team to hang around outside a nightclub on the off-chance that a musician might fall over, exactly?