Today's News of the World has quite a scoop, if you like your scoops grisly and invasive:
Michael Jackson's deathbed photo
World exclusive photo in today's News of the World reveals desperate struggle to save Jacko's life
Wow... that is quite a scoop. So, what does this scene look like?
* SEE SUNDAY'S PRINT EDITION OF THE NEWS OF THE WORLD TO SEE MICHAEL JACKSON DEATHBED PHOTO
Wonderfully, in order to protect something or other, the paper has decided it won't actually print the picture online. In case it steals part of Jackson's soul, apparently.
Now, I know the theory: if the put the picture online, people with a ghoulish desire to see a rumpled bed and discarded medical equipment will look at it online. Don't put it online, and instead they'll trump over to the newsagents - in their pyjamas - to buy the newspaper.
Or wait until somebody scans it and puts it online.
So, while the News of the World preserves its exclusive for about an extra twelve seconds, and adds somewhere in the region of one extra sale to a bloke with a flatbed scanner and a blog dedicated to the beds of the rich and famous, it's reduced to describing the photo it won't show you. Like the flasher in the "it's so cold outside" gag.
Which means the paper has managed to make itself look ridiculous and heartless simultaneously. Good work, everyone.