Gordon in the morning: Another return to form for Robbie Williams

As everybody at EMI crosses their fingers and hopes that the record will allow them to at least pay the milkman this month, it's no surprise to see Gordon rushing to the front of the crowd to cheer Robbie Williams' return:

ROBBIE WILLIAMS is back with an almighty bang.

I have had the exclusive first listen to Bodies, the much awaited single from his new album Reality Killed The Video Star.

This, of course, must be different from the single much more usefully reviewed yesterday by Popjustice, then.

This would also be different from the return from the wilderness Gordon was proclaiming back in January 2008, in some way.

Readers with even longer memories will recall Gordon's boss and predecessor Victoria Newton running a panty, thrilled review of the Rudebox album, only to change her tune a few months later when (a) she'd actually heard it and (b) it became clear it wasn't very good.

Still, Bizarre isn't a voice in the wilderness this time, as Gordon is quick to point out:

Radio 2 are already planning to make the track record of the week and Radio 1 have stuck it on the playlist six weeks before its release.

Although, since you're the only person to have heard the record, Gordon, with your exclusive first listen, they must be doing that unheard, right?

This time round, Trevor Horn is doing the production:

He has returned from the wilderness and gone back to the winning formula of good old-fashioned commercial pop, produced by veteran knobs-and-dials man TREVOR HORN. His influence is a stroke of genius, with a rich new electronic sound.

So it's a rich new old-fashioned electronic commercial pop record, is it? One of those.

For most people, having Horn on board would be enough. But this is Williams, who can't stop the theatrical winks just in case we don't get it. Hence, the album is called Reality Killed The Video Star. The second choice was "With Trevor Horn Out Of The Buggles Making It And He's Cool And Everything, Right?"

Gordon ends with a chilling prediction:

I'm off to stick a few quid on at the bookies for The Brits to be "The Robbie Show" next year.

Let's not picture Gordon, down William Hills, pushing across a betting slip with 'Brits to be The Robbie Show' across at the cashier, and just spend some time weeping with our head in our hands. Because there's every chance, given the Brits' ability to be so very wrong, that he could be right.