Gordon in the morning: Robbie Williams is talking about Robbie Williams

I think Gordon and I agree on this one, up to a point, as Robbie Williams talks about going into rehab:

He said: "Robbie Williams does not go into rehab just if his life gets a bit out of control. It was damn serious. Death had to knock on my door to help me with my decision."

Yes, Robbie has gone all "George is getting upset".

Serious stuff. So serious, I'm prepared to ignore the fact he's speaking in the third person.

That's where we differ, though - Gordon's prepared to ignore it (after all, if he doesn't, he's stuck without a story about Williams today, and that would never do) but, to be honest, I can't help thinking that at least it directs attention away from what a pompous twit the rest of the quote makes him look like. Perhaps if Robbie Williams did sort his life out before waiting for death to come knocking, Robbie Williams wouldn't have been in the mess Robbie Williams was in in the first place.

In related news, Death has also issued a statement, denying that he ever went to Williams' house: "I sometimes drive past Jason Orange's house waving my scythe, but that's just for shits and grins. Let me tell you, the Underworld is no rush at all to bring Robbie Williams in. No rush at all."

Elsewhere, Gordon is apologising to Lily Allen:

IN May we reported in Bizarre that Lily Allen had made various offensive remarks about David and Victoria Beckham and Ashley and Cheryl Cole in an interview with a magazine.

We now accept that Lily didn't say these things to the magazine and we apologise to Lily for the upset and embarrassment caused by repeating them.

God, this 'copying things from other people' is fraught with danger, isn't it? Although I suspect after her week cutting and pasting and scanning and posting, Lily might be a bit more sympathetic.