Gordon in the morning: Being nice to Susan Boyle

This, I suspect, is what Gordon feels is being generous to Susan Boyle:

X FACTOR'S JEDWARD should be seen and not heard.

The opposite could be said of SUSAN BOYLE.

The Highland lassie with the big hits and the hairy chassis deserves to be heard - and by millions.

Gordon's had an "exclusive" first listen to the new record, and runs a big, excited piece all over, which is in no way trying to keep the Simon Cowell camp sweet while needing stuff to write about the X Factor.

Given that Bizarre usually writes about children's bands, or women famous for wearing short skirts, Gordon seems to realise a big, splashy push for an easy-listening Christmas confection is a little odd. But hang about, he has a plausible explanation:

SuBo comes from the same neck of the woods as me... and that's good enough to earn her a place on Bizarre.

Blimey - simply being from Scotland will get you a lead story in The Sun?

It's incredibly classy stuff throughout. A star is born.

Okay, Mr. Cowell, I've done that. Can I have an exclusive about Jedward now, please?