What do you do if you're loaded but really, really care about people with less?
A) Take care that you don't organise your tax affairs in order to minimise how much you pay?
B) Keep the money you need and give the bulk to those causes you care about
C) Make a smug-sounding 'yeah, what can you do, eh?' remark to the Daily Mail?
If you chose, C, the congratulations, you're Bono:
“You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am.
“I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me.
Hey, you know, it's so difficult, it's not like I can help being loaded with cash, accidentally investing it in property and making even more money; buying chunks of companies and turning that money into even more. It's like a curse, it really is.
Having tried earlier in the year to suggest that pointing out his tax and environmental behaviour are hypocritical was just something you'd do because you didn't understand complex grown-up things, Bono is trying a new line:
"I think it's OK to criticize me as long as the ones who are doing so are doing their bit," he said. "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am."
Well, yes, you can. But how big of you to say that it's alright to criticise you, you capitalist tax-avoider, you. The suggestion that your 'as I say, not as I do' behaviour is designed to encourage other people to be charitable would be laughable were it no so hollow - a vision of Bono sitting on one of those 'throw sponges at teacher' stand, allowing people to lob a wet load into his face providing they give a bit to charity.
It would be nice to think that people who point out the empty heart of Bono's gestures also did something positive to make the world a little better. But even if they don't, that doesn't really negate that you're in the wrong.
Still, maybe Bono is going to be moving away from grand, self-defeating gestures. What was he giving an interview for?
On Monday Bono launched the Lace Up Save Lives campaign – a partnership between Nike and the (RED) brand, which he co-founded.
Nike? Nike are helping out in the developing world?
That would be the same Nike Oxfam are saying has a distance to travel on worker's rights?
But, hey, Nike are large, multinational, profit-maximising organisation, right?