Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Gordon in the morning: The next battle

Having actually been able to report on a chart battle that actually involved two records going head-to-head, Gordon is keen to bring us another one. But, returning to form, this one is a bit more nebulous:

GIRLS ALOUD star NADINE COYLE will square up to bandmate CHERYL COLE in what is set to be one of 2010's most fierce chart battles.

Really? So what day do their records come out on, then?

Erm... well, actually, Nadine hasn't even started work yet. She's just putting together a team. And Cheryl? Well, no firm plans beyond the current stuff there, either.

Gordon's chart battle is a bit more 'who would win out a monster squid and a shark with an eyepatch' than an actual event, then.

In other non-news, Gordon runs a claim that the X Factor might end a week early next year:
A source said: "If a show that gets 19million viewers can't muster enough support to beat an online campaign of music snobs, then maybe there is no point aiming for a Christmas No 1 next year."

Oh, the "music snobs". Them again. Music snobs who'd buy Rage Against The Machine? Isn't that like gourmets who only buy Tesco's Finest?

The apparent lesson of the last few weeks - that ITV and Cowell shouldn't assume a number one as a right - seems to have been a bit mislaid:
ITV1's plan for next year means the winner would be guaranteed a No 1 for at least a week.

Would it? Why, exactly?


6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Assuming they're not going for a Christmas number one any more, why have it at that time of year at all? Why not run it to finish during those miserable days of November when people might be more inclined to stay in and watch it - rather than in the run-up to Christmas when their entire demographic has other commitments on Saturday nights? Thus attracting more viewers and more sales.

Can I have a job Mr Cowell, please?

Anonymous said...

"Isn't that like gourmets who only buy Tesco's Finest?"

Isn't it more like gourmets who'll buy anything but Tesco Value?

James said...

As a gourmet, I must defend the Tesco Value range. Their fish fingers are perfectly sized to fit on their white bread (three down, one across the top) thus creating the perfect sandwich, something rendered nigh-on impossible by supposedly superior brands (have you ever tried to make a sandwich from one of those jumbo beer-battered ones? Talk about arse-ache). In a world beset with conflict, it's so pleasing to find two products which work in such beautiful harmony.

I wouldn't touch the Value beefburgers with a pooey stick, mind.

Simon Hayes Budgen said...

Funny thing - we bought Value burgers the other week. Not to eat, of course; but we've got foxes and sometimes leave food out for them when it gets cold. But instead of food, we went for value burgers. It was like cardboard that had somehow been made flesh.

PeterD said...

It seems I have relinquished my previously held position of The Stafford Music Snob, maybe I will get it back in the new year.

James said...

@simon h b They do have an uncanny cardboardy quality, don't they? And it's impressive that, even at such a reasonable price, they still take the care and attention to put exactly four pieces of chewy clear stuff in each one.

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