Oh, prepare yourself for Gordon created mirth:
WHEN I heard KINGS OF LEON were struggling to get off the green, I thought they'd been at the recreational drugs again.
But the ex Tennessee caners have put back recent studio sessions because of a far more sensible addiction - golf.
Oh, yes. Golf. That's a sensible addiction. You can't over-stress how sensible golf is.
Gordon then goes on to churn out exactly what you'd expect - references to Tiger Woods, puns on swinging, "birdies", and a self-satisfied ending:
Fine wine, golf, urinating on posh fairways? The boys would have fitted in perfectly at the Bizarre Masters last summer.
Yes. That sounded dull, too, as I recall. Although given that the Bizarre golf thing was won by a mate of a indie band, perhaps their actually being famous might have made them stand out a bit.
Elsewhere, Gordon tries to find something to say about David Beckham's latest tattoo. (Yesterday, you'll recall, we met Beckham's latest tattoo, depicting a man who is permanently confused and desperately trying to make a mess look better by expanding the spread of the mess.)
DAVID BECKHAM's addiction to inkwork is getting tricky to keep track of.
So hard, in fact, that the Bizarre "tat nav" has been called into action.
Sadly, the device doesn't have sound but if it did speak, it would sound like his missus VICTORIA.
Yes, not only is there a pun, a bit of shoddy photoshop, but Gordon's even making up what the sound would be like if it had sound. I wonder what it would smell like, if it had a smell.