Gordon in the morning: Lythgoe away now

There's a reason why Nigel Lythgoe's role tends to be backstage rather than upfront on the various variations of the same programme that he churns out. He looks like Frank Skinner's Lutheran brother and has the screen presence of that bloke who does the cowboy builders show on daytime TV.

Say what you like about Simon Cowell - and do feel free to - but at least he looks like he belongs on the programme he helms. Lythgoe always comes across like there's been a government-inspired job exchange programme, and somewhere off the M40 there's a regional sales conference being hosted by Boyd Hilton.

Which brings us to where we are today: A bunch of piss-weak stories about Lythgoe trying to turn him from a slightly creepy, misplaced presence on BBC One's Have A Bit Of A Dance programme into some sort of showbiz powerhouse. Quite shamefully, BBC News is at it, turning 'man says he might offer another man a job, but he doesn't really think the other man will be interested anyway' into this:

Nigel Lythgoe to contact Jonathan Ross about US TV work

Gordon has a more basic attempt to try and shake the impression that he's a man in search of a clipboard and torchpen:

MODEL JERRY HALL is dating TV talent show villain "Nasty" NIGEL LYTHGOE, The Sun can reveal.

The Texan beauty's former lovers include rock icons BRYAN FERRY and MICK JAGGER.

Perhaps, but that doesn't then make Lythgoe a bit like Mick Jagger. I'm seeing this as bit more like the promotional work she used to do for Bovril.