Gordon in the morning: Bringing the noise

Gordon's work promoting pop acts is picking up a gear with, for some reason, Bizarre pushing a Brrrap tour of Britain. They're travelling with Gordon's blessing, although apparently without his presence. Chipmunk is the headliner and:

The tour includes a host of other hot, upcoming Brrrap Packers such as MCs TINIE TEMPAH and SKEPTA along with teen singer DAISY DARES YOU.

Daisy Dares You? Well, you wouldn't expect a rap tour underwritten by Mr Murdoch to be bringing you anything close to Public Enemy or Michael Franti, would you?

It's either a desire to not be seen to be overselling their own product, or else a sign of lack of deep support for the event that the tour takes fifth billing on the website today, behind even the news that Vernon Kay won't be on the radio this weekend.

When I saw that a "shamed Vernon Kay" wasn't going to turn up at Radio One this week, I'd assumed he'd got round to listening to one of his programmes on the iPlayer, but it turns out he's been "swapping sex texts" with as many as five women, like a kind of penpal version of Tiger Woods.

It's hard to measure the cultural effect this story is having on Britain. Not only will we somehow have to muddle through without Kay on Radio One, but also:

Yesterday as Kay stayed at home in Beaconsfield, Bucks, Tess pulled a newspaper column due to focus on their happy marriage.

As ever, we, the innocent public, are the ones who suffer.