Gordon in the morning: Please Rob Me

Splashed all over Bizarre this morning is a report from the Sun's newsdesk:

RAIDERS tried to steal Cheryl Cole's £310,000 wedding rings yesterday by breaking into the mansion she shares with cheating husband Ashley.

Good lord! Perhaps these devious thieves discovered Cheryl had left the country and left those expensive rings behind through Twitter.

Or, perhaps, they'd read the piece in Gordon's column yesterday, detailing Cheryl's exit, helpfully providing details of the two rings left behind, complete with valuations and photos. All that was missing was the code to switch the alarms off.

The Sun: It's a chummy's best friend.