Thursday, February 18, 2010

Oh, dear: Emii

If you really wanted to create a poorly-targeted, toe-curling PR message, throwing this sentence in is going to help:

Coming off a major splash at Sundance where guests such as Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Adam Brody and Mark Ruffalo were in awe of her performance, Emii will be releasing her debut single, “Magic” via iTunes on April 6th.

Emii? That's perhaps the worst name in the history of recorded music, apart from late 90s rap act Sonyi-BMGi.

In case you want to know what excited Katie Holmes, Emii is, we're told:
the latest rockin pop female on the scene

And what does she have to offer?
With her stunning looks, sexy and charming personality, Emii is dazzling everyone she meets!

Sexy and charming. That's quite the full package.

And the music?
“Magic” is a fun, sexy song that begs the timeless question: “Is he the right one for me?”

Begging the question is a phrase which trips up the best writers, but here it's not only tripped the writer up, but pushed them down the stairs and hit them with a tyre-iron. I think they mean "asks".

In short, Emii is Avril Lavigne's older sister, and aimed pretty squarely at the market which thinks that getting a tattoo somehow makes you an outlaw.


60 comments:

Sylvia said...

ummm.. ok. emii is an amazing singer and writer (actual talent, hello), and wasn't some teenybopper who was plucked for looks and then "created". Do you really have so little to insult that you have to pick on her NAME and tats? I liked your blog on Kasabian and then I read this trash. gross.

alex said...

Jesus Christ.I actually listened to a couple of the tracks out of curiosity after looking at the embarrassing press release. What a load of garbage. I mean, I can tolerate a good amount of pop, but this is just terrible songwriting and cheeseball production. Who is she marketing to anyways? She is like some terrible Xtina/Pussycat Dolls mutant.

This sort of "music" has to GO AWAY.

William said...

I didn't like the press release either, but Emii can definitely rock out. She seems very real. If you read up on her, not only is she a bit geeky (which gets an "A" in my book), but she spent a great deal of her time working with schools to volunteer and promote Character Counts and positive lifestyles.
I don't know what music you usually listen to but Magic is a great song for people who can appreciate talent. Saying it's "garbage" is pretty harsh ( have you even heard Ke$ha? ).
Lighten up guys, the music world needs less self-righteous snobs.

alex said...

I don't care if this chick is "a good person". We are talking about music quality here. I'm a music producer, and I am making a music critique on the product that is being sold here.

I DID actually listen to the track. I am sure Emii(if that is her name) can sing her tail off...but the comment were directed at the overall production and quality of the song. The hook is pretty boring and generic. The synths is up wayyyyy too much in the mix and the drums are weak. You can toss around Kesha's name as an example of "garbage", but the production on "Tik Tok" is very well done and grabs your attention.

There are so many fine, authentic musicians who not only write and sing well, but also play instruments and ROCK OUT. This is exactly what music does NOT need, another pop "diva" singing vapid lyrics.

I leave you with a quote from the late great Bill Hicks: "When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children to listen to people who fucking ROCKED! I don't care if they died in puddles of their own vomit! I want someone who plays from his fucking HEART!”

William said...

I can't comment on the production, because I'm not a producer. I'm sure you know your stuff. I'm just the audience, part of the crowd who goes to the shows and buys the music and supports the artists that do what they love to do. So, the production is less important to me. Emii, is talented. The late great Bill Hicks was definitely great, but this girl sings music from her heart. You don't get far enough to be written about without heart.

The song sounds pleasing to my ears, her voice is intense, and the words are well-spoken and sit well with me. I saw a video of her playing guitar well and singing, but maybe she just chooses to sing most of the time. She's great at it, so I don't blame her.

I think coming from a fan standpoint and a producer standpoint are different. You stand to make money off of the music you create, and you have your own style of producing. This is someone else's work with a style you obviously don't like, and a singer who's style you don't appreciate. I'm just here to enjoy it. And I do.

I'm a rocker at heart, but Emii's not the typical blonde bubble gum T&A industry-made package. Gotta give credit where it's due. I hope she thrives.

alex said...

Ok, I get it. You are a either a friend or an old fan of hers. I cannot see anyone other than a 13 year old girl or a 45 year old pervert getting into this.

If Emii really has talent and chops, she should strip it down and not pump the twenty-something sex kitten vibe. The snake thing has been done already( Britney and Alice Cooper...among others). I know a lot of female artists who are struggling to put forth passion and integrity in their songwriting and lyrics. Again, if Emii really has the talent, let he put out an release that does not have her pouting to the camera with a load of makeup on her face...or singing about clothes or boys. I am not saying that she need to be a representative for the feminist movement, but we as a culture have been overwhelmed with scantily clad young girls all cooing bubblegum pop songs. It's not just about making money. It's a bout putting forth quality product.

I appreciate your commitment to supporting her as a friend, but I was just looking at the bigger picture.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, this shit is pretty awful. I have to agree. All they do in the press release is talk about how pretty she is...she looks and sounds like a Britney Spears wannabee...whatevers.

William said...

I understand that. Two of my daughters went to a school Emii spoke at and performed at a while ago. Emii is definitely no Britney Spears wannabe, but you actually have to pay attention and not make assumptions to know that.

She does have a lot of older material that is stripped down and is just like you said, if you look for it, but she's always seemed to write about a wide variety of topics and genres. My guess is, these particular songs of hers just happen to be the ones that people like the most, so they're getting released first. My kids loved her old music but they love this even more, so I can see the strategy.

Anonymous said...

i dont get the britney spears reference she looks and sounds completely different? britney and christina and the pussycat dolls were all successful and made music a lot of people liked so wouldnt that be a good thing? she sounds great to me :)

andy said...

UGH!!!! this is horrible!!!! It's like someone took a dump in my ear. M-M-M Magic??? This is m-m-m-music for people who hate music.

anita said...

wow I actually really like the music. Some of you guys are just hateful w/out merit, misery loves company, seriously!!!

GabeKoerner said...

Wow dude, you're a dick.

buffiee said...

Emii is awesome!! A great person who is out standing with everything she does!! And a kind and sweet person that anyone would like to be around! No not Avril lavigne older sister but an astonishing new singer!! Trash talkers couldn't find anything wrong with her sooo you have to insult her NAME and compare her to Avril lavigne! Emii is a remarkable new artist, sooo haters stop hating!!

Anonymous said...

So I went on youtube, listened to Emii's stuff, and looked at her pictures. She's utterly boring. That's okay, though. People do love Britney Spears, Jonas Brothers, Mars bars and those romantic comedies that Hollywood churns out by a thousand. Predictable, overproduced poor quality has always been popular. I wish her well in the same way I wished Hannah Montana well; both products provide entertainment to the great number of people who don't need meaningful art in their lives. As long as someone still creates something beautiful and original (and someone always will; talent and passion are born every day around the globe), and as long as I have some like-minded people with whom to share that great new song or film, I won't begrudge the rest of the humanity their cloned idols with different hair colors. Hell, I'd even bought Avril Lavigne CDs as gifts because I knew that it was what the birthday girls really wanted.

Anonymous said...

No one is hating anyone. I think we all wish this woman a long and happy life. People are just commenting on the obvious: this lady sells muted, pre-packeged, passionless sexuality. It's been done a thousand times before, and she can be easily confused with many other bubble gum performers. For those who need fire and originality, Emii doesn't hold much value. That is all. I'm sure she is a really nice girl underneath the bland make up.

alex said...

THANK YOU Anonymous...you articulated very clearly and intelligently what I was trying to say.

Rolande said...

Funny how objectivity has been devoured by shallowly formed opinionated bullshit. People seem to have become more and more inept at appreciating the work of others, and more and more adept at creating and fortifying their own opinion of work that other people put out. "I am a music producer!!!"; cry more about how you spent your youth believing that you would be the next George Martin or Eddie Kramer. Four years and forty thousand make you a "music producer", but can't buy you one serving of taste. But remember, kiddies, SOMEONE'S got to feed the trolls, or they'd starve to death.

Anonymous said...

Rolande, funny how anyone who disagrees with you is a troll. Are you suggesting that ALL work must be appreciated and admired? Maybe that's a secret to a happy life. However, I think that the fact that some of us need more than bland mediocrity to admire and to be inspired, means that we enjoy that rare gem with a much greater intensity than someone who'll consume anything pre-packaged for him. I have nothing against children who'll eat anything with sugar, men who'll sleep with any woman with a pulse or people who'll listen to anything marketed to them. Why are you so against those who need something more? In my humble opinion, loving everything doesn't make you a loving person; it makes your love incredibly cheap. I know chefs who can't stomach fast food. It doesn't make them snobs. They just have a more sensitive palate than I do. I love many types of fast food, just not in music or films. And Emii... she is the fast food of music: flashy, made with a market in mind, flavored to please for easy tasting, for an average customer... Peace.

serena said...

it's funny how you people think you can judge a persons passion and individuality by looking at them from such a distance. emii is not some prepackaged bubblegum girl, she creates a lot of different music and it's out there it just looks like it's not getting press yet. so you guys are probably just annoyed that what most people like, you don't like. or you're annoyed that great things are happening for her when you naively think she doesn't deserve it, or she lacks passion or individuality. it is so sad that talent and drive and beauty are so shunned when they're used to entertain the masses and inspire. this is what most people want, to be entertained with this kind of music. if you hate it so much then go listen to what you like and stop spreading hate. you sound like a bunch of washed up rock n roll geezers who simply hate pop music. talk about music snobs...

Anonymous said...

The Anti-Pop club has made their point and beaten it ruthlessly with a stick. Obviously not everyone likes the same kind if music. It's purely subjective. But the fact that you're spreading your shit over some new artist who 1) Can actually sing incredibly, without auto-tune 2) Can actually write and 3) Actually plays instruments... makes you sound petty and jaded.
An artist does not have to drown in their own vomit to be passionate. And judging from remarks like those, you generally hate pop music anyways. Don't take it out on the people who are brave and yes, passionate enough to get as far as Emii is, and beyond..... especially with people like you who exist to speak your opinions as fact and spread shit. You just sound jaded and hateful.
Remember, if most people love something and you don't, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with all of them. Look at how boring and dispassionate YOU are before pointing fingers.
Emii's made a new fan here.

James said...

I miss the old days, when Street Teams actually had to leave the house and plaster bus-shelters with stickers.

alex said...

Lol @ James...yeah, she probably got all of her friends and family memebers to rally against the mean "rock and roll geezers". I'm 21, I LOVE pop music and still think this shit is garbage. So "Emii" can sing without autotune and play an instrument??? That is not what's being sold here. I think her friends and fans are totally missing the point.

William said...

Nothing wrong with "rock n roll geezers", or opinionated 21 year-olds. This blog is not exactly difficult to find if you Google Emii, but a lot of new press is popping up here and there.

Alex, it may not be what's being "sold" here, but your opinion is just that, an opinion. No need to be rude, and maybe I'm just too far beyond your years, but it never hurts to keep an open mind and refrain from insults. I guarantee that within the music you do enjoy, there have been songs you didn't like by the artists you did like.

I agree with "Anti-Pop Anonymous" to a point, and I agree with you to a point. But as for what's being sold and put out on the market first, I'm guessing that's the marketing department and not the artist's decision. I still can't fathom how anyone could compare this to garbage, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

In the words of someone in your generation, "Chill out!". Live and let live, right?

Anonymous said...

William, are you suggesting that an artist does not have control over how he/she is marketed? Really? Let's not be ridiculous here...this woman is selling the musical version of softcore porn.
I am sure she could make it to the top 24 on American Idol and all, but if YOU are a father you need to think about what is being sold to your children. It is foolish for you to say that it is not her choice to promote an album without her "creative" input.

jen said...

Her voice makes me want to kill myself. Booooooooooo!

Juno said...

Yeah, that's all the music industry needs. Another waif-y looking chick in revealing clothing making 13 year olds feel bad about themselves. I will take Beth Ditto anyday. Now SHE she has crazy pipes and unique sense of style!

William said...

To Anonymous:

I don't know how the marketing works, but just because she's singing about something sexual in nature doesn't mean she's selling softcore porn.

The greatest stars of the past all sang about sex but so many don't complain because they're male. It's a double standard.

Sex is natural, and a part of life. She's not on the Disney channel for a reason. But I come from a viewpoint where it's not a bad thing to think or talk about sex. Instead, I teach my children (from a certain age, of course) what to watch out for and how to be safe. Sheltering and hiding them away from these things only causes rebellion.

Miley Cyrus is in almost every child's home, and the Jonas Brothers are as well. If you have kids who watch these stars, it's obvious that these stars are selling sex, just in a different way.

I would rather listen and let my kids listen to someone who is honest and openly singing about life and sex, while promoting positive healthy lifestyles, than listen to someone that puts on the show of an "innocent girl" who at the same time spends all their time getting wasted in clubs.

Anonymous said...

Yawn. Whatever William...you obviously are coming from an uneducated perspective. There are lots of sexy women in the music industry. There is no problem with a male or female artist putting forth a sexy image. But the fact that her whole packaging is totally plastic and artificial. She just another example of Hollywood engineered "music"...again, overproduced, airbrushed and boring.

Maybe this chick will sell some songs on iTunes and make a little money, maybe perform on some random awards show that doesn't get televised, maybe tour and put out a couple releases. Big whoop. In a couple years this will be totally and thankfully forgotten about.

anita said...

yikes!!! opinions are like assholes, everyones got one.

"In a couple years this will be totally and thankfully forgotten about." ..thats what people said about madonna in the beginning, and gaga before she exploded. if you dont like it just dont listen to it. =)

Anonymous said...

Madonna was an original. Gaga is a genuine talent with a flair for composing great pop and has an astounding stage persona.

Emii is like watered down Christina Aguilera. I mean, the videos on YouTube are fucking awful. If she is really a talented artist, why doesn't she play an instrument and front a band? Or come up with a more edgy "pop" persona than "Oooooh I wanna appear edgy so I will get a shitty tattoo and wear a snake like Britney did back in 2004."

jemima cuddlesducks said...

jesus, what the hell happened in here

anita said...

gaga's first few videos in the beginning were pretty bad too, and the first press on madonna was as horrible as youre being. we have to get to know the artist before we jump to conclusions. starting to sound like you have a personal vendetta against this girl. give it time an chill =)

Anonymous said...

Gaga writes her own songs. This chick probably can't write her own name.

BaDOOSH!!!

Anonymous said...

I would definitely have sex with her though. Maybe not listen to her songs. But definitely let her sit on my face.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad William compared Emii to Miley Cyrus and Jonas Brothers. All three brands sell music to pre-teens. As a girl in her early twenties, I feel I'm just too old for plastic culture. I like all kinds of music, and there's a lot of pop in my collection. Pop has to be exciting and moving to be good, just like any other kind of art. Emii is just too uninspired and boring. What surprises me is that people who claim to be adults are vehemently supporting her here. Do grown ups actually enjoy stuff like Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire? It's one thing to be moved by poor, boring imitations if one's experience is limited, but how can anyone who had experienced sexual attraction, had even the most minor personal crisis or, at least, listened to a variety of dance music be fooled by this stuff? I am not some dark, deep, cool hipster snob; just a normal girl who enjoys music.

Anonymous said...

Ah, I see. Emii fans, here, are saying that Emii might become successful and go platinum. I agree. Why not? Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, the High School Musical brand and the McDonald's corporation are all filthy rich. Good for them. Capitalizing on easily palatable mediocrity doesn't make one evil, it makes one a good businessman. I have no reason to believe that Emii isn't a smart business woman. I wish her luck in all her corporate endeavors. People are simply pointing out that she isn't worth much as an artist. And, no, I am not an indie snob. There's plenty of music I love that is on major labels. Some people have a good business sense AND artistic talent.
But, again, she need not despair. Having nothing to offer artistically doesn't mean that she won't earn a bunch of dough. Look at the Twilight novel series! Mediocre pseudo-sexuality= $$$ Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Opinions are opinions, different people like different things. This music isn't usually what I'm into, but everyone is different. There isn't enough of her out there for me to base a judgement on, so saying she's not a good artist would be an uninformed statement. How would I/you really know? We're going on limited knowledge here.

What doesn't move you artistically moves someone else artistically. No one here is the God of Art who decides what does and what doesn't qualify. It isn't to say she's worth nothing as an artist, it's to say her art so far does not appeal to you and your musical desires, which is how the world works.
I understand the above comment of "people speaking as if their opinions are fact".

I saw a great quote today from a friend that read, "Everybody with a keyboard is a critic. Critics are people who know how to get there but can't drive a car."

Anonymous said...

Listening to Emii is like having someone poop on my face.

casey said...

God save the music industry from this bland, boring kind of pop music. But then again, most Americans are brainless consumers. She OBVIOUSLY knows her market.

gabe said...

I think the "GOD of Art" would be offended by this polished turd they are trying to pass off as the new, hot "pop star". She must be paying her publicist a lot of money.

Tim said...

WTF happened to this thread? Don't you have lives outside of the digital world? Get offline and get outside for Christ's sake.

The anonymity of the Internet doesn't give you the right to be a downright DOUCHEBAG. That's disgusting and unnecessary.

Anonymous said...

Hey Tim! Will you poop on my face?

lyndsay said...

ha ha so funny everyone is arguing about what "good" music is...who cares about this stupid pop tart????

timisgay.com said...

Hey Tim! Quit jacking off to Emii photos!!! omg lolololol

Anonymous said...

Interesting. People who believe that negative opinions are just the opinions of negative people and that every attempt at expression can be considered valid art depending on the audience, are you offended by the idea of museums? Do you think it's wrong that Louvre displays Monet, and not, say, that dog I drew in my drawing class? Museums are non profit, so the work that gets displayed is there based on a few opinions. If it was based on what the majority of paying customers would want to see, museums would just display porn or something of the like. On the internet, people are much more interested in that monkey peeing in it's own mouth, nudes and train wreck youtube videos like those of Chris Crocker, than they are in anything that took hard work, originality and inspiration. Just because lots of people choose to consume something, doesn't mean it's valuable. That is my opinion, of course. Maybe you consider a video of a poodle eating shit out of another dog's ass an artistic masterpiece.

Anonymous said...

poodle shit=Emii

Charles Barkley said...

Emii's a cool name, and this girl really has a fantastic voice. There's video of her singing live on youtube, and it's really impressive. I'm tired of lip-syncing fakes. This chick has real talent and deserves support. Then again, most people are musical retards who think Shakira actually sings live. It's pretty sad. Hope Emii helps end the lip-syncing bullshit trend. Oh, and her tattoo is freaking badass.

Jenny said...

I love Emii. I mean, even if you don't like this song, I'd really suggest searching her on youtube. She's sooo good live, and that really counts for something, despite what pop musicians have done in the past decade. She's beautiful and talented... She definitely has what it takes to do the long haul.

Anonymous said...

The name's pretty, and the girl herself is attractive enough to do somewhat successful porn. Too bad about the music quality. She'll probably do very well, though. Her name is more unique than "Britney", her face is more symmetrical than Christina Agulera's, and her tunes are slightly more suitable for a porn soundtrack than Avril Laveign's. What else is there to getting rich?

Health and Safety Executive said...

I'm sorry, but some of you are going to have to move outside for a bit. This thread only has a licence for 40 people. Any more constitutes a fire hazard.

Hang on, who propped the fire door open? Don't you realise these are meant to be kept shut? This place is a deathtrap.

Anonymous said...

Hey Charles Barkley!

Are you wearing an Ed Hardy T Shirt right now?

jonjon said...

I looked her up on YouTube out of curiosity. Honestly, she should just audition for American Idol and get a chance for a signing a better contract...maybe then she can have better songwriters working with her. "My Zombie Boyfriend?" Give me a fucking break.

Anonymous said...

poop

Anonymous said...

Well, she could be on the American Idol. A lot of people like that show. Obviously, it's pointless to argue about music quality with those who consider the Simon Cowell creations artistically valid. I don't understand this. I love PizzaHut, but I don't try to convince cuisine lovers that a 10 minute pizza is a work of culinary art. Why can't you admit that you like something of poor quality? Are you that insecure? I am usually dressed in clothes from Target. I like it, but I believe my fashionista friends when they say that Target is where design school failures get to display their collections after sleeping with a few corporate executives.

Jean-Claude Van Damme said...

She can sing, and she's hot. I approve!

jen said...

Oh yes!!! We should all listen to "Emii" more because she is HOT. That obviously has a lot to do with musical talent. You fucking pituitary retard. Listening to her songs were like jamming nails in my eyes. Overproduced crap.

Anonymous said...

wow.. "pituitary retard"... really? i love when pointless insults are thrown in due to an obvious inability to intelligently get a point across.

"jean" said she can sing first,

which she can, lest my ears deceive me. singing ability seems to be rare these days.

she's hot, she can sing, and seems to have a musical history.

don't hate on her just because she's hot.

but whatever floats your boat.

sounds good to me.

Anonymous said...

wow.. "pituitary retard"... really? i love when pointless insults are thrown in due to an obvious inability to intelligently get a point across.

"jean" said she can sing first,

and she can, no autotune on the track, lots of videos out there of her live. singing ability seems to be rare these days.

she's hot, she can sing, and seems to have a musical history. and she writes.

don't hate on her just because she's hot.

but whatever floats your boat.

sounds good to me.

Anonymous said...

Bullshit. This chick has a songwriter. Probably a couple. Like others have said, she can sing well enough to make it to the finals on American Idol...but what is being marketed here is offensively plastic pop garbage. WHO CARES what she looks like. It's all heavy makeup and hair extensions anyway.

The fact is...it's boring. She isn't going to start a revolution. It's just fluff.
Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

Actually, she writes all her own music. I know the girl. Grew up in the town next to her. Still see her every once in a while. She's been making music for at least 8 years now with a few different groups. Actual artist.

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