We aren't the world

So, with all those a-list stars reworking We Are The World, a load of press coverage, a plum launch spot during the Olympics - that's got to mean We Are The World will debut at number one in the US, right?

Oh... maybe not:

'We Are The World' Debuts At #2 On Billboard Hot 100

But it must have taken something quite special to keep Richie, Jackson (deceased), Jackson (Ms), J, Jean, i.am and the gang from number one? It's not like such a pack of esteemed artistes would have been bested by some clapped-out beast, is it?

The song, a remake of the Michael Jackson- and Lionel Richie-powered original, was only bested by Ke$ha's "Tik Tok," which tops the chart for the ninth straight week.

Doubtless there's going to be angry scenes behind the scenes. Insiders claim they've heard Lionel on the phone hissing "I told you we needed to dig him up and use some sort of ropes to have him dancing around..."

It'll still raise a fair sum for Haiti. And that's the main thing, right? Not the fact that if you pull together all those famous faces, they still can't shift a song which everyone in America must have already bought three times in the last three months.