Gennaro Castaldo Watch: With a ladder and some glasses, he can see to Hackney Marshes

Whoever would have thought we'd live long enough to see a chart battle between Gracie Fields and The Courteeners? One a clapped-out act beloved only of a few older types, and the other... oh, you know where I'm going with that, don't you?

Who can explain this strange chart race? How about HMV's Controller of Press (Dead People v Skinny Trousers Department), Gennaro Castaldo?

HMV's chart commentator, Gennaro Castaldo, said: "The recent No.1 album from Vera Lynn demonstrates that age need not be a barrier to chart success. There is an audience out there for almost everyone if you can find a way to connect with them through music that's timeless. Whether it's the current economic climate or a simple yearning for more optimistic times, you get a real sense that nostalgia has a growing appeal right now. There's a whole generation of heritage artists - who were huge stars in their day, that we could very easily become re-acquainted with, not least Gracie Fields.

"Gracie was Britain's first true pop star at a time when recorded-music really began to take off among the wider public. With Dame Vera having opened the door, the Gracie Fields Collection is flying off the shelves. To think that a singer born in the 1800s is outselling some of the very best new musical talent around is truly remarkable."

Is it? Really?

Of course, this chart battle isn't quite as violent as the story may lead you to believe, as the tussle between the Courteeners and Gracie is only taking place in the minds of the Manchester Evening Newsin Rochdale.

Indeed, the story concludes that it's not even a skirmish nationwide:

In the national album charts The Courteeners debuted at six with Dame Gracie at 29.

Outside of Rochdale, then, few care about either.