Bearded Festival: Face the facts

Last year's Bearded Festival was the one that got hit by a tornado. Which means, what with lightning never striking twice and everything, that it's probably going to be the safest festival of all this year.

If you need more encouragement, Dreadzone are playing. So are Banco De Gaia. And, in increasing order of "oh... are they still going, then", so are The Wonder Stuff, Dodgy, New Model Army and The Cheeky Girls.

There's also going to be a world record attempt for the most false beards in one place at a time - i think the current record is held by the backstage area at the last Smash Hits Poll Winners Party.

It's 14th-16th May, in Hulland Ward near Derby. No screens playing international football at all - guaranteed.