Bieber, hat reunited

Hey, David Cameron, if you believe that Britain's broken, what does that make New Zealand? A country so wracked with crime, someone stole Justin Beiber's hat in cold blood.

Thank god, the tiny child and his hat were reunited in the end, but clearly, it's left Beiber scarred for life:

"I got my hat back," he later posted. "No hugs. no thanks u's. Just glad they did the right thing. I don't condone thievery!! (sic)"

New Zealand politicians are promising to rush through legislation that will make 'messing with Beiber's stuff' a capital offence.