The cloud of ash

Chris Moyles kept off the air because he's trapped in America. John Gaunt off in Tenerife, with no hope of getting back. A Miley Cyrus premiere going ahead without Hannah Montana present.

Surely, it's worth sacrificing a few avocados for this sort of luxury.

Elsewhere, Michael Caine is in a panic: "how will I get out if Brown stays PM?" he's wailing.

In other ash-cloud news, The New York Dolls have proudly turned up for their Koko date tonight. They took the ferry. Is that really punk rock?