Gordon in the morning: Fails mainly on the plain

Gordon passes a large chunk of his space over to the awfully-named Eliza Doolittle this morning, mainly because her management team have sent over a photo of her in shorts.

NEW face ELIZA DOOLITTLE certainly is one Fair Lady.

Well, to be fair, at least Gordon's gone for a gentle joke and is flattering his readers by assuming they'd be familiar with... oh, hang on:

The singer-songwriter - named after the lead character of hit musical and film My Fair Lady - is all set to release debut single Skinny Genes on April 12.

Gordon, if you have to explain the joke you just made quite so clunkingly in the next paragraph, you might want to think about coming up with something a bit more in tune with your key audience:

With LILY ALLEN-style lyrics and a love for very short shorts, she's definitely one to watch.

That'll do it.

So how did "Eliza" come up with her kerrr-azzzzy name?

Eliza says: "I love my real surname but it isn't very pop-starry. So I became Eliza Doolittle and now everyone calls me it."

Righto. That really explains it.

Still, nice to see someone getting massive record company investment despite not having any industry connections, isn't it?

Her dad is theatre director JOHN CAIRD and her mum Tony Award-winning actress FRANCES RUFFELLE.

Oh.