Mel B returns to TV

Great news for anyone who has ever had a desire to punish their eyeballs: Mel B is going to make a 'reality' series about her life:

Mel B has signed up to star in a reality TV series about her life in Los Angeles, for the Style Network.

The Mel B Project will follow her life with her producer husband Stephen Belafonte and her two daughters.

Episode one: parking cars. Episode two: pumping gas.

It gets worse:

The former Spice Girl and her husband will be executive producers of the show, which is being described as a "docu-comedy".

A docucomedy. Where 'docu' is a Latin word meaning 'programme entirely unaware of the absence of any', of course.

President of the Style Network Salaam Coleman Smith said: "Mel B is confident, hilarious and outrageously entertaining.

"We love that Mel has evolved her image and sought new challenges throughout her career while also taking on the ups, downs that come with motherhood and marriage."

Nobody thought to ask him how her image had evolved. Perhaps he means that she once stood in a group shouting 'look at me' and now she stands on her own shouting it?