Gordon in the morning: Genealogy OMGzzzz

Gordon is superhyperexcited this morning all about the RPATZ:

TWILIGHT vampire hunk ROBERT PATTINSON has a surprising blood relative - the real Dracula.

There isn't actually a 'real' Dracula, just a person who helped inspire the stories, but do carry on.

The actor is a distant nephew of blood-thirsty 15th-century Transylvanian Vlad the Impaler, who inspired the Dracula novel by Bram Stoker.

A distant nephew, you say? Really?

And in an even stranger twist,...

...Vlad The Impaler was also a rotten actor who made up for lack of talent by staring a bit and then taking his shirt off? No?

...the connecting link between Vlad and British Robert, nicknamed R-Patz...

... is being talked up in a bid to promote his new film, Young Vampires In Love?

...could be the ROYAL FAMILY.

Oh.

Genealogists say Robert, 24 - vampire Edward Cullen in the hit movies - is distant cousins with princes William and Harry on their father Prince Charles's side.

This is, of course, flim-flam of the highest degree. Given that there weren't many people around in the 1500s, and the half a millennium or so since then, everyone can probably claim a distant kinship with most of the people who were around at the time. And most people could, if pushed, go far enough back and then come forward in a way which - shock - would reveal that we're related to the Royals. Even Prince Harry could probably find some sort of blood link with Prince Charles if he looked hard enough.

Amazingly, Twilight author STEPHENIE MEYER is also a distant cousin to the British princes, meaning she shares a link to Vlad.

It's not "amazing". It's barely interesting, but it's not amazing. Stop being easily amazed.