There could be a swirling, howling black hole at the heart of The X Factor - besides the usual ones - as Gordon reports that Cheryl Cole is going to be out of action for six months. Can we have a banner headline, please?
Exclusive: Cheryl will be too sick to do X Factor
- 6 month malaria break
- Album on ice, gig axed
That seems pretty definitive.
It suddenly sounds less definitive once Gordon's cleared his throat and got going:
SERIOUSLY ill CHERYL TWEEDY may have to pull out of X Factor this year as she battles to survive the killer disease malaria, it emerged last night.
Frail Cheryl, 27, could also be forced to scrap a gig at the V Festival. And her management are ready to put the October launch of her new album on ice.
So the headline's screeching facts turn out to just be possibilities by the time the article starts - which means it appears Gordon's "exclusive" boils down to 'if she's too ill to work, she won't be able to work.'
The "battles to survive" bit in the intro is surely a more compelling thing to splash on rather than "might not play the V Festival", but - although she is pretty ill - "battles to survive" seems to be more than a little hyperbolic in itself.