Because apparently, if Olly Murs beats Perry's current single to number one tomorrow, he's going to take his clothes off.
Gordon (or whoever is writing the column at the moment) is very, very excited by this:
And the big-talking Essex lad let me know last night that if he had to choose a fruit to cover his modesty it would be: "Without doubt a pineapple."Why glad? And why, exactly, would you be asking him what sort of fruit he'd use to hide his cock in the first place?
Glad he didn't say satsuma.
Olly Murs in with a shout of a number one single. If ever there was a sign that the charts are without any value as a guide to the taste of the nation, that would be it.