Well done to Foster And Allen, who have managed to feed Gordon Smart's obsessions with chart battles to the point where he's leading with a massive feature on them this morning.
Naturally, being a sensitive writer, Gordon is able to handle the idea of older men releasing a record without falling into stereotyping older people:
Taking The OAPHa ha, old people are so funny, Gordon.
BEARDY folk singers FOSTER & ALLEN have declared war on TAKE THAT in a manband v granband chart battle.
It will send ripples through the Saga holiday set, with pacemakers on red alert.
And the blue-rinse pin-ups are spoiling for a scrap.
On a visit to Sun HQ, they poked a walking stick in TT's direction and thundered: "We're ready. It's war."
Someone pull the panic cord for the warden.
I'm assuming Gordon's depiction of Foster and Allen as geriatric was written with the full understanding that his boss, Rupert Murdoch, was already 16 when the senior of the duo, Mick Foster, was born. I wonder if Smart does the Saga and sheltered housing gags when he's talking about Rupert?