Gordon in the morning: Awards ceremony announces new font

The overhaul of the typography for the Brit awards might seem an odd thing for Gordon to get excited about:

In recent years the awards show has looked like a dated rock'n'roll cliche.

But all that is set to change with a new venue, statue, exciting new format based on the Oscars and a new logo - a bold BRITS instead of the old scribble design.

An "exciting new format based on the Oscars", eh? Given that the Oscars is a bunch of the same old faces giving awards to the same old faces, it's hard to see why the Brits aren't like the Oscars already.

A source said: "The new committee is ripping the guts out of the old Brits.

"The idea is to make the Best Album award like the Best Film at the Oscars. They loved the drama this year when no one knew if The Hurt Locker was going to win Best Picture ahead of Avatar.

"That sense of drama has been lost from the Brits and they want to get that back."

The trouble, surely, is that while people might not have known if The Hurt Locker or Avatar was going to win, with the Brits nobody really cares if Kasabian or Paolo Nutini take the prize. Simply saying "we're going to make it dramatic like the Oscars" won't suddenly stop the shortlist being clogged up with Asda-rack-ballast like every year.

There's been some rejigging of the voting eligibility, too:

The voting academy will get a complete overhaul as well, with key players replacing industry dinosaurs.

And most importantly, artists will get their say on who bags Album Of The Year.

Brits chairman David Joseph said: "Artists are the most valuable part of our industry so inviting them to join the Voting Academy is an obvious step."

If they're so important, why are they only voting for album of the year. And who do you mean by "artists"? Because if everyone, say, who sold more than 200 tracks in a year get a vote, that would be interesting. If it's just letting Elt and Robster and Chris have a go, then you might as well not bother.

And the phrase "key players" is as meaningless as "industry dinosaurs" in this case, surely?

Not to mention that the Oscars voting system is dominated by movie industry dinosaurs.

The show itself is going to abandon Earls' Court and settle in at the Millennium Dome - showing the kind of surprising, left-field thinking that we've come to know and love from the Brits. The O2 Arena? Whoever would have guessed.

Gordon says we'll love it:

I've seen the secret plans for the new show, which will be screened live on ITV and it will be better for everyone - fans, artists and my mob.

"My Mob"? Has he started to confuse himself with Mac Muprhy? Is he running a youth club in the Bizarre offices, to the chagrin of the snooty bloke in a blazer running The Times official reader's club?

What's odd, though, is Gordon's claim that "in recent years the awards show has looked like a dated rock'n'roll cliche."

This year's awards, which most observers were only able to watch through three pillows and cold, bitter tears found most of their applause in Gordon's column:

PETER KAY's quickfire quips had the Brit Awards crowd in stitches.

The host called LADY GAGA "New York's answer to SU POLLARD" - and "the only woman who shops at Ikea for her dresses".

Not much mention of rock and roll cliches there.

Perhaps he meant the year before was a big rock and roll cliche? 2009, you'll recall, saw Gordon praising the hosts even while scripts were still being written:

On a serious note, the lads are a good pick for the show.

And his team carried on praising them even while most people were in A&E having toes uncurled:

KYLIE MINOGUE, JAMES CORDEN and MAT HORNE got their Brit Award hosting duties off to a great start with a spoof performance of Kylie's hit track Can't Get You Out Of My Head.

Indeed, one of the things I don't think I've ever seen The Sun describe the Brits as is a rock and roll cliche - even when Liam Gallagher is throwing swears around and stomping off stage, the Bizarre team is stood applauding the exciting and shocking event.

So why is Gordon denying everything he's run about the Brits in the past to applaud the new look?

The Best Album category will take centre stage under the new name of Mastercard Album Of The Year Supported By The Sun Bizarre Column.

Oh, yes. Just like the Oscars. All the prizes in the Oscars carry two sponsors' names, right?

By the way: the suspicion that albums have been put at the heart of the prize givings in a bid to try and shore up sales of a dwindling way of packaging music at a time when everyone under 40 thinks in terms of tracks, not packs; and that that shows that the heart of the Brits is still being crafted in major label marketing departments and not by "the artists"; and that those departments tend towards the dinosaury? That's an unworthy thought to be having. Totally unworthy.