Gordon in the morning: Oh, yes, he did

Doesn't Robbie Williams find himself somehow on stage during his chum Jonathan Wilke's panto every bloody year? It's happened again.

This year, Wilkes is doing one of those soul-sapping "adult" pantomimes:

The show can only loosely be called a panto as the material is so blue that BERNARD MANNING would have been proud.

It also contains cross-dressing dwarfs, a filthy Snow White, Corrie killer BRIAN CAPRON and "the most offensive song in the world" - JAMES BLUNT must have got a half-decent royalty cheque.

Gordon, naturally, worries about the little lady:

Who knows what Robbie's missus made of all the dirty gags - I hope she's got a very open mind.

Or a very, very low boredom threshold.