Okay, so the episode of Graham Norton on which John Waters gave Justin Bieber a pencil to draw a moustache disguise hadn't aired when Gordon wrote this:
JUSTIN BIEBER is like every teenage lad - dreaming of being able to sport a bit of manly stubble.But shouldn't the king of showbiz journalists be aware of the context for the moustache? It's not like there weren't hundreds of witnesses to the gifting of the 'tache pen on Thursday night.
The little Canadian is so desperate for facial furniture he drew on a cheeky 'tache during dinner at a posh London eaterie on Thursday night.
Sadly, his efforts to fake a bushy, TOM SELLECK-style lip-warmer ended up looking more like a feeble Gio Compario from the Go Compare ads.
Also: what's with this bit?
Gio Compario from the Go Compare adsIf it's worth using his name, wouldn't people know who he is? And if you have to explain who he is, then why bother with his name? More to the point, why crowbar in the reference at all?