Gordon has vague reports from LA this morning, where the Arctic Monkeys are busy recording a new album.
That's a dull story, so instead, Gordon and "a source" worry about how they're getting on with the neighbours:
A source said: "There was a suggestion that the neighbours might not be pleased about a band moving in.That 'was said to have been used' suggests that even as Gordon was making it up, he was starting to regret it. I wonder if there was anything about 'arctic responses' in the first draft.
"But most of the locals are bang-up for a good time. They're young, rich, party-loving and keen to make friends with the lads.
"One even offered six figures for the lads to play at their garden party but the group refused. The line, 'We're not performing monkeys' was said to have been used."