Lady GaGa ice cream parlour palaver

This, I suspect, is the point where Lady GaGa had reached the what entertainment scientists call the Madonna Horizon, whereby the protection of the brand takes over from the things that made "the brand" interesting in the first place.

The GaGa management has sent a threatening letter to the bloke selling breast milk ice cream called Baby GaGa:

Matt O'Connor, owner of the newly opened Icecreamists parlour, said he felt like a man "wielding two spoons engaged in hand-to-hand combat". Lady Gaga's letter, he said, "described me as the 'controlling mind' behind the ice-cream, which makes me sound like Blofeld, in a James Bond movie, bent on global domination.

"A global superstar has taken umbrage at what she describes as a 'nausea-inducing' product. This from a woman with a penchant for wearing rotting cows' flesh. At least our customers are still alive when they contribute to our 'art'.

"She claims we have 'ridden the coattails' of her reputation. As someone who has … recycled on an industrial scale the entire back catalogue of pop culture to create her look, music and videos, she might want to reconsider this allegation.

"How can she possibly claim ownership of the word 'gaga' which since the dawn of time has been one of the first discernable phrases to come from a baby's mouth?"

More to the point, nobody is going to actually think that the product has anything to do with her. Even more to the point, they've been forced to stop selling it by Westminster council on the grounds that it's made from "what milk? eeeewwww ewww ewww."